Personal Developement

Awakening to Your Own Inner Harmony

Greets friends!

I am in the midst of preparing my Jackson 5 Guitar Instructional DVD and am really excited about the music. I am totally immersed in, and enjoying the teaching process of this music – and finding myself in a very feel-good place.

Funny though, as a young classical guitar player I was never able to dig into the music on the level that I do now. As I look back, I think – “what was the difference?” I am really truly happy now – but was not happy back in the day. What am I doing right, and what was I doing wrong? 🙂

I recently returned from a guitar festival in Bermuda where I got to hear and hang out with a great classical guitar duo – the Brasil Guitar Duo. Awesome musically and technically. You could feel their 100% commitment to the music. This made me think…what are they doing that I wasn’t?

I just let the cat out of the bag! But let’s rewind…

Many times, as I played classical guitar I felt a “veil” between myself and the music. a feeling of “I’ll never get it” or “it’s too hard” or something. This was very frustrating for me as a young player. I loved love classical guitar recordings – but somehow feel “locked out”.

I feel totally the opposite with the Jackson 5 music I am preparing for the DVD. By now, my cat should be able to play the songs after having heard the instruction ad nauseum.

As I teach this the music, I am constantly thinking to myself, “what inner message must the student realize in order to play this music, and how can I convey this?”

The music is not exactly easy. It’s a full plate of technical, rhythmic, and melodic challenges. These are delicious musical puzzles that I have figured out. But what is it on the inner plane that has enabled me to play this music – and what must the student do?

The answer is simple. Isn’t it always?

One must LOVE IT enough that they are willing to do the work.

Knowing what you love means that you are awake to your INNER harmony. Not what you think is “cool” or “interesting” – but that which touches your heart and soul.

This sounds simple and easy – and it is when you allow it. But – fear regarding the approval of others (teachers, parents, peer group etc) can twist, distort and hinder you. Or fear of survival (I’ll never make a living doing that) or fear of control (how will I do that consistently) can derail you.

Even as a jazz player, my soul would really light up when I was deep in a blues zone, or a funk zone, or an authentic bebop zone. At other times I’d feel “off”.

But – once you care about the approval of others and compromise your honesty, you’re lost.

And so it was for me with classical guitar – as I see in retrospect. I love the beauty of the art, but I never had the feeling of 100% commitment and love for the music. Not enough to put me over the top!!!

But enough about me….more about YOU.

What do YOU love? When no one’s watching and no one can comment – what is your love, your dream? What would you do for no money? What would you do if you only had 6 months to live? Answer that honestly and you can achieve anything.

And that’s why I have the strength to practice Jackson 5, Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder songs for hours on end. I love it that much. I am willing to do the work. And – I’d do it without getting paid! 100% commitment…and the hell with what anyone thinks!

In the words of Joseph Campell…”Follow Your Bliss”. Awaken to your inner harmony, and watch the world roll at your feet. The previously impossible and insurmountable become easy, delicious and inevitable.

The Rope, the Snake, and a Happy Ending for this April Fool

By Adam Rafferty 10 Comments

April 1, 2010

Greets friends…I am cruising at about 30K feet on the first leg of my journey to the UK to play the Oxford Jazz Festival, Liverpool Philharmonic and more.

I have a happy ending to tell you about. I’d like to talk about perception, and also discuss reading personal meaning into impersonal events.

It’s quite easy to read about spiritual and psychological principles and nod one’s head and say “I understand that”, but when the rubber hits the road and we feel uncomfortable, and have a mini inner disturbance or crisis – we see what we are made of, and hopefully learn. 🙂

One of my favorite teachers, Lester Levenson, uses the following example. Imagine that you see a poisonous snake in a dimly lit room, curled up waiting to attack. You feel fear, panic, you go into survival mode and freak out. You turn the light on and then find a coiled up rope, which you thought was a snake. The whole panic, fear and mental ride you went on was your creation.

How often at work, with family, at school do we have “panic attacks” over the coiled up ropes of life that we think are snakes? Fortunately I am getting mellower and mellower but I certainly have experienced this feeling and have to laugh at myself when I see the “rope”. It’s like panic over lost keys which you find in your back pocket after tearing up the house for 15 minutes.

Now, dear reader, here’s a slightly different topic which will have a tie-in, I promise. The Buddha taught not to feel one way or the other regarding praise or criticism, and this is a tough one for me much of the time. It’s not that effort is employed to “not let” criticism pull one down, but when you are grounded in a more real, quiet, ego-less state – you see that there is no “you” in the first place who can receive praise or blame.

And now here is the priceless April Fools story which involves the tie-in of each of these ideas.

I received an email from a customer a few weeks ago because he ordered a DVD and 2 CDs – and one CD was missing from the package. He was from Germany – which is where I tour most these days. I love the German folk, and one quality I admire in the culture is a “conversational directness”…they often say what’s on their mind with no buffer and little humor.

The email stated the following. “Dear Adam, Just to let you know, the Gratitude CD was missing from the order. The Stevie Wonder Guitar DVD is wonderful, and your Chameleon CD is awful. ”

Huh? Did he really just say that? What?

I reacted internally. I emailed friends. Stomach acid. No, I am not yet always above praise or criticism.

I decided then that it was my duty re-record and re-release my CD’s because I feel that I have improved, as has my recording technique. I composed (but did not send) a letter of apology to him, saying yes, the micing of the guitar could be better, the performance could be better,and that I’ve learned a lot since recording that CD. I offered a complete refund if he was dis-satisfied. I chose not to send the email though. I clarified my thoughts, and that was fine.

I felt truly awful. I did my best, and really disappointed someone with this artistic effort. How could these words affect me so?

And I thought – if he had the nerve to actually say it, how many people simply bottled this sentiment up and were too kind to tell me? Maybe he’s the only one of thousands who has the nerve to speak his mind. Like the guy with the bad toupe whom no one says anything to, but everyone knows it’s a bad toupe…and one man calls out the bad rug.

Eventually I got over it as I had to carry on with touring and a career. The CD is done, no turning back.

Last night in Munich my buddy Zane and I did a 2 guitar gig for a small, intimate audience. I couldn’t help but notice a young couple grooving and enjoying the music and humor. From the stage, I made lots of eye contact with them and enjoyed their vibe very much.

On the break the fellow from this nice couple comes up and says “Hi Adam, I’m Stefan. Man you sound great!!! By the way I still haven’t received the Gratitude CD. Oh – and I am so sorry about the email. I meant to say the Chameleon CD is AWESOME, not awful – and I didn’t realize the language mistake until afterwards. Ha ha ha!” He then hands me the Chameleon CD to get it autographed.

Well, we had some great laughs. I informed him that he almost put me in the mental hospital, and that I was happy to meet him. I announced him from the stage and told the story, and I promised him and the audience that the next CD would be even more….awful!! 🙂

Of course my little ego, my separate self heaved a sigh of relief. But the big SELF, looked at this entire story and knows that a hipper, happier place would be to be grounded in a peaceful, higher zone where I wouldn’t have felt bad in the first place. That’s the real place to be.

The only place I have found this rest, this relaxation and pause from ego is in and from meditation and mindfulness. Going within and going quiet is the only place I have find peace. You really do catch glimpses that there is no separate you and you (I) see the idiocy of the ego. But, it takes practice to stay on top of it all.

So while it’s nice to be loved and have this fellow think the CD is awesome – that’s not the cure, it’s just a band aid for a situation.

The cure is in knowing through and through that you, I and him are not separate beings no more than waves in the ocean being separate from the water itself. The cure is to know the big SELF, not the little self.

Tommy Emmanuel, in his infinite wisdom once told me “what other people think of you is none of your business”. This is deeper than it initially sounds…

Enjoy life, and until next time keep swingin’

Roll Over Amadeus!

By Adam Rafferty 2 Comments

Every now and then as one goes through life, events happen to which we ascribe meaning. I had such a moment yesterday.

I had the wonderful opportunity to do a solo guitar concert 2 nights ago at the “Mozarthaus” in Vienna, Austria. Mozart lived on the ground floor level of this building. The building sits on “Domgasse” – the Dome being St. Stefan’s Cathedral.

The concert was in the basement where they now have a lovely small hall for chamber music. The building is now a historic landmark museum, and they host concerts, events…it’s just so cool. I’ll need to go back as a tourist and check it out!

It was in this building that Mozart and Haydyn met. It was an honor not only to set foot in this place, but also perform music there. Holy powdered wigs, Batman!

As I walked in, and throughout the concert I couldn’t help but think of the towering genius of Mozart – and here I am doing my little ol’ funky fingerpicking, playing Billie Jean, beatboxing, and so on. The ridiculousness all of it was humbling and totally hilarious at the same time.

During my first guitar and beatbox tune “Chameleon” the melody lines wove in and out of eachother, the beatbox groove hit and I saw smiles in the crowd. I knew then and there, old Wolfgang would approve and it made me feel good. He was a playful groovy son of a gun…I felt him smiling.

Afterwards, as the audience was screaming, and I had to just take it in and enjoy kicking butt musically in the former home of one of our worlds greatest musical geniuses!

But, lets not forget Mr. Fux either. “Who’s that?” you ask.

Last night at the concert as I introduced my tune “America”, I told the folks that the tune was born as I studied “Gradus ad Parnassum”, Johann Fux’s book on counterpoint (which Mozart also studied by the way). You can actually buy this book at Barnes & Noble. It’s a music education classic – just a small pocket sized paperback, but heavyweight in the concepts!

Fux lived during the same time as Bach and was the “Cappelmester” – i.e. choir leader, organist and head teacher in charge of music there at St. Stefans Cathedral in Vienna.

His book was (and still is indispensable) to my musical education and to my fingerstyle guitar approach. The ability to “juggle” more than one “voice” and see where voices in the music hit at the same time – or don’t hit at the same time (called counterpoint) was strengthened by doing all the written exercises in his book over coffee each morning for about 2 years. Once you can visualize the concept on paper, playing it becomes easier.

This work translated into “seeing possibilities” as a composer and arranger rather than just thinking like a “guitar player”. That’s why I always try to teach students “concepts” as opposed to just songs. The mileage you get from a correct concept can be the spark for hundreds of songs and arrangements.

Special thanks to Mozart, Fux, Bach and the all the Masters of music, you are all a never ending source of inspiration to me. My dream is to provide people with music that is not only entertaining, but intelligent too, and I hope you were groovin with me last night, (and I kinda think you were).

Your student, Adam.

Amen.

Financial Tip for Touring Musicians – The Numbers Don’t Lie!

By Adam Rafferty 2 Comments

Years ago when I started touring Europe I was not too financially organized. Primarily because I didn’t and still don’t “do it for the money” – I do it for the love of music and travel. However, deriving “feelings” from looking at your wallet at the end of a tour is a very inaccurate way to do this.

Whether you feel “good” or “bad” you really have no idea what went down financially unless you do the math. You could feel very rich (or extremely poor) looking at the money in your pocket at the end of a tour. What about all the money and credit card bills for the travel, hotels, food? Those expenses may have happened months before – so you cannot tell by looking in your wallet at the end of a tour!

On my first few tours back in the late 1990’s, I’d front the money for the band’s plane tickets, train tickets, food, hotels on nights off for the band, and of course – their pay was guaranteed. It was then up to me to sell CD’s and collect gig income and “pray for the best”.

I can remember feeling as though I was on an emotional roller coaster when I spent money, or when I felt I made some, and in the end – no idea whether I made or lost money because I had no system for tracking the income / expenses.

One year I decided to start keeping track of my income and expenses using a simple excel spreadsheet. If you are touring, and own a laptop this is actually kind of a fun little morning activity – assuming you didn’t party too hard the night before. Any spreadsheet program should be fine – Excel, Apple Works, Open Office – are a few available.

In just about any spreadsheet program, you can set up a whole region of several rows and columns to sum the numbers so your totals of income and expenses. I simply enter expenses as a negative number, and income as a positive number. I even got geeky and have columns for US dollars as well as Euros so that I can translate it all into dollars at the end.

The result? Well you start to see some very interesting things like:

– How much it costs to go on tour
– How much each gig “costs” so you get an idea of what fee you need to ask for
– Where you can cut expenses
– Did you break even and cover costs, and if so, when?
– Most importantly you can come home feeling good when you do earn money, it is inspiration and motivation for the next tour!

Note – even if you don’t earn money a tour can be successful, because the benefit can come from the relationships and fan base you are establishing. Think of that kind of scenario as an investment.

If you are paying band mates as you go rather than in a lump at the end, you can enter that as an expense on a given day – so that the 50 bucks here and there can all be accounted for in case of misunderstandings.

The numbers do not lie. It is totally enlightening to see the numbers added up, and if the spreadsheet does it properly, there is little room for error, as long as it’s set up right.

As musicians we think like artists and not accountants, so this activity may not come naturally. However as we move into the 21st century, we have to be responsible in new ways. By taking care of ourselves financially we end up taking care of ourselves emotionally and that becomes our physical and musical well being too!

These all are in support of the music, even though they may seem like distractions. So – fire up your spreadheet software (excel, apple works, open office – whatever) and start fooling around with this idea. You’ll be glad you did, and this will help your musical life too!

Greets from The Road – Voelklingen, Germany

By Adam Rafferty 6 Comments

(this post was written March 8, 2010)

Greets friends. I am writing to you as I sit on the train to Frankfurt for a solo concert this evening.

A few days ago, I was in Linz, Austria and fell into some delightful, deep contemplation while taking a nice stroll on the Hauptplatz (main square). Linz was one of the first places I ever played on a Europe tour with a jazz trio, and I returned to precisely the same venue and stage, 10 years later for two sold out solo concerts.

Returning to a place I rarely come to after all this time put me in a time warp of sorts! Allow me to digress…

I am fascinated by the idea of what’s “out there” in the world we see vs. what’s “in here” in our minds and bodies.

The more that we look at our own minds and bodies, we see that everything we experience is inside and it is in fact impossible to experience anything outside ourselves.

When you see a bird, what’s actually happening? Actually, light waves zap into your eyes and your brain puts a picture of the bird together. Like it or not, your brain sees the bird. You “see” the image in your brain. You never experience the actual bird.

The same for sounds, smells, tastes, colors, emotions, touch and so on. Our sense organs pick up frequencies and it is our brain that registers them, interprets and assembles them. Past that, the brain can choose to add meaning – but that’s a whole other topic! 🙂

There is a famous story about two Zen monks. One monk looks at a flag waving in the wind one sunny day, and the other monk says “is it the flag that is moving, or is it your mind that is moving?”

In looking at the Linz “Hauptplatz”, seeing in my mind’s eye the memories of years past, remembering the feelings, dreams, loves, ups and downs I saw something that the Zen monk saw. Did I experience Linz? No I experienced my own mind and inner workings.

Sure I experienced events there, but they were the simply the out picturing of precisely what I was looking for due to the Law of Attraction. This experience this time was completely different, because I am looking for new things in music and in life.

The feeling was Merlin-esque. My whole sense of past, present and future somehow felt like it was collapsing on itself. Side note: I also saw that without a doubt any picture I hold in mind comes to fruition. Take time out of the equation and it is as if you can snap your fingers and have anything.

Even when I sit on the meditation cushion and the mind starts to wander, I laugh at myself….in a 20 minute session I can feel the feelings, sight sand sounds of Bangkok, my apartment in NYC, people in my life, my cat, life as a school kid…and physically I am in one place. It’s so easy to see in that setting that it is the “mind moving” and not “the flag”.

The holograph in my mind of course is “inside”, but what must be realized is even when you are “there” and “seeing things for real” the holograph is still an inner experience. So, really no difference between being in Bangkok and seeing things vs seeing the memories in my mind. Why? All I ever saw was my mind anyway…

What’s even more interesting is when two or more people experience something allegedly tangible – for example, attending a concert. For each listener, there is a brain assembling music and meaning and an experience. The music is not an outer experience, even at a concert…it’s an inner experience for each person there.

I dance around this topic without a real conclusion for you in mind. To see that it is all inside me, the entire cosmos, everyone I know, everything I have seen or heard is in me, fills me with wonder.

What, if anything is “out there” past my consciousness? This may be something we’re not allowed to know on this plane of existence. However, knowing that everything is inside is a level of taking responsibility for ones thoughts and life.

You may think that even this blog entry is outside you, but guess what? Everything you are reading and seeing is an inner experience, being put together by your brain. It’s in you.

Cool, huh? Until next time, feel good, love those around you, love yourself and keep swingin’!