Law of Attraction

Connecting With Another Person

Sometimes you connect in a relationship, and at other times you don’t. If you understand the law of “you get what you think about” and that thoughts “snowball” it can help you understand what is going on between you & another person.

Last night my girlfriend and I decided to go out for a drink at a local bar. Poor Jill, I know I have had a one track mind about my solo CD and career. All I have been doing is stuff like re-recording tracks, mastering, paying for licenses, poking around on myspace, and so on.

Jill is working as the assistant dean at a prestigious college here in NYC. She is getting very busy as the school year is revving up.

So, I decide to myself before going out to meet her that I do not want to talk about my stuff. I’d rather be a good listener tonight.

We meet, and I ask her how work went.

I hear all about the personalities, the responsibilities which are unfolding, the madness of it all. And while streams of story-lines shift I am doing my best to follow, but it is hard. First off I don’t know the people, and I am trying to NOT think about my stuff for once. Of course that’s like saying don’t think about a pink elephant.

At one point Jill (who has been doing all the talking) says “I feel like you are not listening”. Uh oh, here we go. Men are from Mars….get ready!!!!

I reply “I’ve been listening the whole time”. I see the argument coming I have had 1000 times with other people and past girlfriends, and I have been on both sides of it. I have felt “not understood” or like “so and so does not care, but only cares about her own stuff”.

We all like to feel connected, we like that honeymoon stage we were once in when all we could think about was how awesome the other person is.

I thought to myself, “What is really going on here? How can I grasp this problem of what is happening – she’s talking about work & her stuff, I am thinking about my stuff, but really trying to think about her stuff, and we are in 2 different universes right now. She feels it and so do I.”

The answer lies in the Law of Attraction, believe it or not.

I had spent days on music here at my house. Recording, mixing, editing, licensing, talking, practicing, teaching. And – the more you think about something, the more you get it – so music and guitar are like this 10 ton locomotive that can’t just come to a screeching halt, due to the momentum of thoughts.

Likewise, she’s been updating the school website, organizing, learning what new tasks lay ahead when dazed & confused freshmen walk in – immersed in that situation for hours. These thoughts have gained such momentum that she can’t stop thinking and talking about it. To her, my talking about music feels like a splash of cold water that has nothing to do with her thoughts at the time. That’s why I simply wanted to be a good listener.

Out of desperation (this was so cute) Jill says to me at the bar “okay, I won’t talk about work and you don’t talk about music. (pregnant pause). What the hell is there to talk about? We have nothing to talk about (panic)”. This was so cute and so funny. I love her!!

So I told her “Honey, see what is happening here and don’t worry. Your thoughts have snowballed due to the attention you have given to certain subjects, and mine have too. We have momentum of thoughts that are rolling in different right now. That’s normal and okay. No crisis here!”

I continued, in my wise, long winded, know-it-all fashion, “I guarantee that as we hang out tomorrow and build up a new immediate past (interesting way of describing the present), and pay attention to being together at the beach, we’ll feel in-snyc soon enough.”

“No need to block out thoughts and force other thoughts. Be gentle about it.”

Get it?

I know now (but sort of always did on a gut level) that it takes a little time to get momentum of thoughts, but once you do – secrets reveal themselves and realizations pop up out of the unknown. Practicing music for hours gives you momentum. Building a habit of exercise gives a momentum. Computer programming gives a momentum – in fact when I learned to program PERL, I’d spend hours and then be dreaming about it!

Relationships are no different. Being in a relationship also has a certain momentum, and that’s why you have to put in time with a relationship just like anything else.

Until tomorrow, my little blog-puppies!!

P.S. I forgot who made the following quote but I love it and laugh at myself as I have bombarded my inner circle of friends and family with my new musical projects – “But enough about me. Tell me what YOU think about me.” 🙂

Gratitude

By Adam Rafferty 2 Comments

Wow, I feel so caught in the pop culture as I write this, with “The Secret” and all the Law of Attraction stuff out there.

(Also – you musicians might ask why all this new age fribble is under a music or guitar heading here in the blog. Well guys and gals – music is a microcosm of life.)

I love the book “Ask and it is Given”. In it, there is a description of 22 processes that anyone can do to lift their “vibration” and get more of what they want by feeling good spiritually and emotionally.

The first on is entitled “The Rampage of Appreciation” and focuses on gratitude. Whoa! This is big.

I have spent so much time, I admit, wanting more, and in the process not been grateful for what I have. I’m not saying “Guilty me, I won’t go to heaven, children are starving, I am so bad…”. That is just a BS approach to face value gratitude which is only a beating up of oneself.

What I am saying is that when quietly one stops to look, and love – your pet, your people in your life, your opportunities, the capacity of your mind – you find yourself in a heavenly state of mind after having done so. And it is a very natural thing to do, if you just allow yourself.

And from that heavenly state of mind / spirit / whatever you want to call it – comes all good, all abundance. You don’t “do it to make money”, you do it for it’s own sake – but you’ll see that you have aligned with abundance.

It may sound trippy – but try it. When I walk out onto 74th street here in Jackson Heights, I look and appreciate the green trees, the ethnic diversity, the calm of an outer borough, and how it all helps me make music and live peacefully. I look at my kitty and see the hours of love this little creature has given me. I look at my past and thank everyone who was smarter and more experienced than me for nurturing and helping me. And on and on…

That’s why I called the new CD “Gratitude”. I suppose I always use a CD title or liner notes to reach people spiritually. I laid a copy on my mom and she had asked me why I named the title “Gratitude” and while my usual m.o. is to bicker with her, I told her why. And I underlined to her that part of that gratitude was that she raised me the best she could, and made sure I had guitars and guitar lessons and never told me I couldn’t or shouldn’t be a guitarist. Her belief in me was a given. Wow! Yeah Mom!! As I told her, I was almost in tears, and I felt that she was touched, and appreciated my appreciation!

We can and should practice gratitude deliberately – that is, not once in a while by accident. Why? Because life is be richer and happier when we do so. And the goodness snowballs!

One thing I do when I am with my girlfriend is be consciously grateful that she’s in my life. If I see a habitual, old thought of “Man I wish she wouldn’t..” or “I hate how she’s…” I know that I am headed for disaster, internally. Most people don’t realize that these states of mind are their own doing! I think that’s what happens when couples leave the honeymoon stage. Appreciation diminishes and thoughts of what’s “not good” take charge.

First thing I do when that comes on is tell her, out loud, “Honey, I love you just the way you are – please don’t change a thing”. And while I may smirk and she knows something pushed a button in me, she smiles back and things diffuse.

I have at that point gone 180 degrees away from trying to change her. I accept her as being different – and appreciate the good things about her such as her perky attitude, her beauty, her honesty, her love of animals, her integrity, herr punctuality, and her eagerness to get along with my family. The appreciation helps me get properly aligned.

When I meditate and actually slow down enough to see emotions and images pass through my “universal” awareness, I see that as humans we are all really the same. Despite our seemingly outward differences – there is a common denominator. It is all about how we deal with what is in front of us, and how we perceive real from unreal. We may each have been given a different “lump of clay” as our life circumstances (talents, location, ethnicity, etc), but the craft with which we mold and sculpt what we’ve got is what it is all about. We can either allow goodness, appreciate, and feel our sprits in us, or not.

Allowing “love” to flow, or allowing the feeling of love to be felt – is the key to this. Why not try some gratitude and start the flow? Try it, you’ll like it!

Wanted and Unwanted

By Adam Rafferty Leave a Comment

Over the last few days I was reminded of a very important principle having to do with the Law of Attraction. Yes, you can read about it everywhere – but you may find this interesting.

Very often when we want something, we think of not wanting it’s opposite. Ponder that just a sec. So, as Abraham, Esther and Jerry Hicks say – every subject is 2 subjects. The object of desire and the lack of it, or “wanted and unwanted”

The problem we encounter when we ponder the lack of something desired – is that the mind creates more of what we hold in it. I.E. “Think of a pink elephant” or “Don’t think of a pink elephant” give the mind the same instruction – “pink elephant”.

The example given on the CD’s of “Ask and it is Given” is that you launch a new rocket of desire for a new car. You feel elated. You go to the dealer, smell the interior, see a shiny new paint job, etc – and it’s exhilarating.

So, you then go home and ponder. You look at the old car and make a checklist of why the new car would be great – but you are looking at the old car’s dents, scrapes, wear and tear and your vibration and vision fall into seeing and thinking about what you don’t like about the old car.

So what do you get? More of the old car, because that’s what you are envisioning!

This is so deep, so important and so relevant. We can feel stuck. I get like this sometimes.

What does one do? Well, now that you are armed with the new knowledge – of what you hold in your mind is what you get, it’s simple. Change what you hold in your mind. Choose a thought deliberately rather than by default.

So “yes” to new car = new car will manifest in your life.
“no” to old car = old car will manifest in your life.

I’d like to share some examples from my life with you.

About a year ago I decided to embark on a new career path of solo acoustic guitar. My first reaction to it was pure inspiration and upon hearing Tommy Emmanuel, I felt inspired musically, professionally and saw the possibility for a great future ahead. I felt (and feel) elated.

I am inclined to talk a lot with my friends and family. Before long I found that I was saying things like:

“I want to do solo guitar because…”

I don’t want to play restaurant jazz background music
I don’t like the sound of electric guitar as much as acoustic (pretty much)
I don’t like scraping by (or feeling that I am)
I don’t like the idea of teaching forever
I don’t like that the general public doesn’t understand jazz I play
I am not meeting my potential because of the limiting factors involved

OOPS!!!! By thinking all of the above, I manifested:

Play restaurant jazz
Play electric guitar
Scraping by
Teaching Forever
Public doesn’t understand the jazz I play
Not meeting my potential

Let’s improve this by stating what we do want (what I want)

I allow myself to play concerts as a headlining act
I love the sound of an acoustic guitar
I love getting compensated generously for the music I create
I allow my schedule to get filled with touring and playing
I look forward to relating to more listeners
Solo acoustic guitar is a unique expression of my talents

I can feel even with the mere typing of this the difference in energy from these 2 approaches. You’ll note as well – your emotions are your guide. They tell you if your thoughts are holding you in vibrational alignment with your desires (good feelings) or not (bad feelings).

What happens seconds, minutes – even hours after just a few of the empowering, abundant thoughts is a good mood,and the energy to do what is needed.

The negative approach yields the opposite – a dis-empowered, lacking sad feeling.

So – is life “out there in the world” or “here in your head” or “both”? I say both – but the imagination preceded the manifestation. That’s why it is critical to envision something you want in spite of what’s in front of you.

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Another quick example: Look at all the lack of success people have with online dating!

Having been on match.com myself – I spent most of the time feeling that I lacked a mate, so what I got was more lacking a mate.

Quite different from the feeling that “she’s on the way pretty soon”. And shortly after leaving match, I met Jill on the LIRR. We’ve been together happily for a year and a half.

Our life is lived in our mind. Pretty amazing!

Hope you enjoyed this – and I encourage you to play around with this gently. Choose the thoughts of what you want!

Motivation vs. Inspiration

By Adam Rafferty 1 Comment

I went away with my girlfriend Jill this week to Shelter Island, and then to Atlantic City. She had vacation time and likes what many people like – sunbathing, shopping at the outlets and all that good stuff.

I watched the other vacationers – particularly at Atlantic City. God, the weirdest people in the world go there! Smoking and hanging out at a slot machine! Okay, I could see myself getting addicted to gambling but I don’t even get started and don’t want to know.

All week I found myself thinking that life was not much different on vacation than my real day to day life. What did trouble me was that I got to do less of what I wanted to do (play guitar) and had to do stuff on someone else’s radar and “be” a person on vacation.

I realized that my job – playing and practicing the guitar – is a joy. I love it. And I have had ups and downs, but I don’t need to motivate in order to practice these days. I am so inspired – to see my musical creations come into being.

“You are so motivated” people say. No, that implies resistance, like there is this rock to roll up the hill and I don’t want to do it, but I make myself. That is not it at all.

I can’t wait for my touch on the instrument to “sparkle” which comes about 2 hours into a practice session; I can’t wait for the bridge of the new tune I am writing to reveal itself; I can’t wait to run old repertoire and be an onlooker as the music plays itself.

That – is so much fun, so delectable, so sweet – I can’t believe other people don’t get to feel that.

Motivation implies inner resistance whereas inspiration comes from the spirit moving within (in-spirat-ion).

Everyone must have the potential of finding something that yummy, that perfect, the thing that lights them up – the thing they have talent for. And as I saw people just eating, smoking, and gambling – I felt this spiritual deadness from some of them (Shelter Island was a little better than A.C.) and I realized these people don’t know how sweet life can be.

Then it occurred to me – whoa, I might be more tuned in then them, but there are those more tuned in than me. I bet I can just keep spiraling upwards. How high is up?

To find out and inquire what allows the inspiration to flow is a vast topic, and I’ll write about it forever because it has everything to do with outlook. And yes of course there is the old axiom “Art is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration” but to stay the course and do the 99% is still inspiration- because you know, or have a sense of, the payoff.

My wish, my prayer for YOU is that you find and follow your inspiration – be it a hobby, job, whatever. It could be a walk in nature that only you experience, but what happens in your inner world is what counts.

When we are inspired and we love something, that’s saying “more please” to the universe, and the Law of Attraction then kicks in – we get more of the thing we want and love.

Pretty Cool! Hence, the expressions….

“Follow your bliss”

“Do what you love, the money follows”

Enjoy everyone, and may YOU follow your bliss.

The Buffer Of Time and Manifesting Anything You Want

By Adam Rafferty 1 Comment

One thing I find particularly fascinating is “time”. Even as a kid I saw a problem with our linear concept of time. I did somehow see that there is only a present now moment and future and past are thoughts.

I’m not saying I am a luminous teacher of a new world religion – but I am saying that I saw it with an uncluttered child’s mind.

And, the more I ponder this, the more I understand life and the easier my existence is.

What’s even more fascinating to me – and this is new to me, sort of – is how there is a thin “veil” separating that which is an idea and that which has manifested physically.

Is hunger out there or inside? Inside of course. We as humans can relate together because we are made of the same stuff so we can agree on hunger being a “thing” – but it is and inside experience.

The same for the feelings and perception of things like elation, happiness, sadness, tiredness, – and so on. The point is that these are not feelings outside our bodies and minds.

Couldn’t the same be true for time? Time is just an idea we have. An every present now that we see in a linear fashion.

“Yesterday it rained” – imagined in the NOW
“Now it is hot outside” – perceived in the NOW
“I have to work tomorrow” – imagined in the NOW

As you can see, all is in the NOW. Your thoughts of what was, and what will be are just your thoughts.

I see this incorrect notion of linear time in music – when musicians incorrectly think a groove can be gotten from a steady flow of beats spaced exactly far enough apart, the way a computer or metronome would.

Often you’ll find no feeling or groove there. Just listen to the radio these days- perfect time and no grooove. Playing a deep groove has more to do with being in a spiritual / musical place, a yummy NOW moment, which humans attempt to translate in a linear fashion.

Here’s where it gets really cool for me, these days. We can manifest ANYTHING we think of (and do). Time is essentially a buffer that we experience, but it is an illusion.

Let’s start with something easy – at least for me. Please follow me.

As I sit here, I get an idea. “Boy I’d love a cup of coffee”.

Does the coffee exist yet? No. Ok, it is an idea, a mental picture. Can we agree on that?

Assuming I want it bad enough, I go to the fridge, get the ground coffee, clean the French press and boil water. Take out the milk, take out a mug…and in about 10 minutes I got from the idea of coffee to a manifestation of coffee.

I am not a pro philosopher by any stretch, but I am deeply fascinated by this.

The thought or image—> Buffer —-> Manifestation

Let’s look and imagine further:

The coffee could be anything – money, a car, a dog, a house, a mate – you name it.

The 10 minutes could be 2 seconds (I want a pretzel from the snack bowl) or 10 years (I want a career as a dentist )

AND – the work to do it can happen by itself, once the desire is launched. For example, you are seeking a pair of olive PUMA sneakers with an orange stripe. You don’t go out looking actively for the shoes, but the desire is launched.

You are out on a nice day, strolling past a store you’ve never seen, and BANG! There are the sneakers, exactly as you had envisioned them. They didn’t find you by magic – you are simply “tuned into” them and out of the 1000 varieties at that store, you found exactly what you sought. The sneakers appeared effortlessly. Your radar was up for those sneakers and you did not have to “go out there and get ’em!!”.

The key of course is that you are in a state of allowing what you have asked for, into your life.

So if you say “I want these shoes, but they are much too expensive” – you hold yourself apart from the shoes’ manifestation and they don’t appear. This is a subject unto itself – the undoing of disallowing factors due to emotional buttons getting pushed (survival, approval, control) in order to allow our desires in. Thinking the sneakers are too expensive would be you holding yourself out of vibrational alignment with your desire.

Now if we go back to the notion that time is simply a buffer, there is only a NOW moment – do you see that you can have anything you ask for, instantly? I know this may seem like a stretch, so let’s back up a notch say you can have anything you desire – with absolute certainty.

It is an amazing notion. And I am finding that I can notice something, imagine it, taste it – even before it is here, and know that it is coming, it is on the way and it is certain.

It is personally very interesting indeed to have this knowledge and be launching a new career direction.

Start with something really small – a cup of coffee, a pencil, a newspaper, and go buy it or make it or find it. Next, take note of how a mental image manifested. Then know that you can expand and apply the same law to your wildest hugest desires that you did to the cup of coffee or whatever you manifested.

(This blog started as an idea!)

Look around you. Look at what you are wearing, what you have and so on. Didn’t everything in your life start with an idea?

All that we experience starts in the mind with the image. Thoughts preceed action, and the realm of thought and imagination is key to having the life we desire.

My coffee is done (for real – it’s on the kitchen counter).