Guitar

(this post was written March 8, 2010)

Greets friends. I am writing to you as I sit on the train to Frankfurt for a solo concert this evening.

A few days ago, I was in Linz, Austria and fell into some delightful, deep contemplation while taking a nice stroll on the Hauptplatz (main square). Linz was one of the first places I ever played on a Europe tour with a jazz trio, and I returned to precisely the same venue and stage, 10 years later for two sold out solo concerts.

Returning to a place I rarely come to after all this time put me in a time warp of sorts! Allow me to digress…

I am fascinated by the idea of what’s “out there” in the world we see vs. what’s “in here” in our minds and bodies.

The more that we look at our own minds and bodies, we see that everything we experience is inside and it is in fact impossible to experience anything outside ourselves.

When you see a bird, what’s actually happening? Actually, light waves zap into your eyes and your brain puts a picture of the bird together. Like it or not, your brain sees the bird. You “see” the image in your brain. You never experience the actual bird.

The same for sounds, smells, tastes, colors, emotions, touch and so on. Our sense organs pick up frequencies and it is our brain that registers them, interprets and assembles them. Past that, the brain can choose to add meaning – but that’s a whole other topic! 🙂

There is a famous story about two Zen monks. One monk looks at a flag waving in the wind one sunny day, and the other monk says “is it the flag that is moving, or is it your mind that is moving?”

In looking at the Linz “Hauptplatz”, seeing in my mind’s eye the memories of years past, remembering the feelings, dreams, loves, ups and downs I saw something that the Zen monk saw. Did I experience Linz? No I experienced my own mind and inner workings.

Sure I experienced events there, but they were the simply the out picturing of precisely what I was looking for due to the Law of Attraction. This experience this time was completely different, because I am looking for new things in music and in life.

The feeling was Merlin-esque. My whole sense of past, present and future somehow felt like it was collapsing on itself. Side note: I also saw that without a doubt any picture I hold in mind comes to fruition. Take time out of the equation and it is as if you can snap your fingers and have anything.

Even when I sit on the meditation cushion and the mind starts to wander, I laugh at myself….in a 20 minute session I can feel the feelings, sight sand sounds of Bangkok, my apartment in NYC, people in my life, my cat, life as a school kid…and physically I am in one place. It’s so easy to see in that setting that it is the “mind moving” and not “the flag”.

The holograph in my mind of course is “inside”, but what must be realized is even when you are “there” and “seeing things for real” the holograph is still an inner experience. So, really no difference between being in Bangkok and seeing things vs seeing the memories in my mind. Why? All I ever saw was my mind anyway…

What’s even more interesting is when two or more people experience something allegedly tangible – for example, attending a concert. For each listener, there is a brain assembling music and meaning and an experience. The music is not an outer experience, even at a concert…it’s an inner experience for each person there.

I dance around this topic without a real conclusion for you in mind. To see that it is all inside me, the entire cosmos, everyone I know, everything I have seen or heard is in me, fills me with wonder.

What, if anything is “out there” past my consciousness? This may be something we’re not allowed to know on this plane of existence. However, knowing that everything is inside is a level of taking responsibility for ones thoughts and life.

You may think that even this blog entry is outside you, but guess what? Everything you are reading and seeing is an inner experience, being put together by your brain. It’s in you.

Cool, huh? Until next time, feel good, love those around you, love yourself and keep swingin’!

Greets Friends, and Happy New Year.

It’s 8:30 am on New Years morning 2010. I am happy to say that I had a delightful night last night at home, popping in tablature in my computer for a new guitar project. I feel wonderful now, while many are dragging home after a night of partying.

I have had a story in the can for some time, and been wondering if I should put it on my blog, so here goes.

I know that the “religion / spirituality du jour” is the Law of Attraction stuff. It is a pity that so much of it on the net is bastardized to be packaged up and sold as a money making trick – “learn how to be spiritual and you’ll get rich!”.

That’s a pretty shabby and shallow way to look at a binding law of the universe and how we as humans function. I happen to enjoy the more heartfelt teachers of these principles – like Esther and Jerry HIcks. Check them out!

This “Law of Attraction” and visualizations becoming materially real is a law on this plane, just like gravity. You and I use it always, constantly throughout our lives. Allow me to illustrate.

– You want a cup of coffee, and envision it. In minutes you have it.

– You pull up the Google homepage and do a search. You find what you are looking for, and call up a webpage that matches the picture previously in your mind’s eye.

– You see an article of clothing, maybe on someone else that you like. Soon you have a similar article of clothing, but prior to that it was only an image.

– You have an idea to exercise, and find yourself exercising.

The same holds true for big items, and even unwanted items. As Lester Levenson said, the mind is an oven. Put a shoe in the mind, you get a shoe. Put a million dollars in the mind and you get a million dollars.

I have a story for you.

After being inspired by John Assaraf in the hit movie “The Secret”, I started to work on a vision board. At the time, I had just discovered the great guitarist Tommy Emmanuel and been very inspired by his playing. It was a dream of mine to share the stage with Tommy one day.

I went to go see him perform at a venue called “Highline Ballroom” in New York City on June 8, 2008. When I came home, I had the ticket stub in my pocket from the evening.

I had bought the ticket online so along the edge of the ticket, my name was printed on the ticket with the same font.

I then had a silly idea. What if I cut out my name and carefully pasted it over the opening act’s name, so it would read “Tommy Emmanuel and Special Guest Adam Rafferty”. So I got my scissors and tape and got to work. In about 5 minutes I had my new ticket stub.

This felt like the silliest thing I had ever done. After years of playing professionally, making CD’s, and touring – to reduce a huge goal career move to some voodoo just felt crazy and dumb. I dared not tell anyone.

I then tacked it up to my vision board and glance at it every day. (Cork boards at Staples cost about $10)

Little did I know that feeling silly is a great symptom, in this case. It sets up what’s called “cognitive dissonance”. The concious and subconcious mind start to disagree and the subconscious mind then works 24/7/365 – even while sleeping – to resolve the dissonance between “what we think it should be” and “what is”.

Plus the mind responds to images – not words. To see my name on the ticket with his was something that sank deep into the mind, more than saying “I’d like to play a concert with him”.

About a month later a friend urged me to go to the Chet Atkins Appreciation Society yearly gathering in Nashville TN. I had no plans or intention to go and on a whim followed his advice and bought a ticket for a weekend in Nashville.

I knew no one there when I arrived, but was quickly greeted by the world of friendly guitar players. They knew me from Youtube. Then one guy approached me and requested that I play him my version of “Chameleon” with human beatbox, so I did.

After a friendly pow wow with him he told me that he had organized concerts for Tommy Emmanuel in Finland and that he’d like to help me by getting me on the gig as a special guest.

The excitement of all of this was wonderful, and the last thing on my mind was a vision board. I thought “No, this was happening because of youtube, my wonderful personality and playing skills and my perseverance.” The vision board was not even a consideration!

As a result of this meeting, I got to perform with Tommy the first time in Helsinki in April 2009. As I was there I had to pinch myself. “Am I living reality or is it all a dream?” I thought. I then went on to do some concerts and touring as a soloist after that.

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIbdHYJoF2I]

Upon arriving home in New York City, my eyes glanced at the vision board. I saw the ticket hanging up there. “Oh my God, the vision turned real!” I thought. I started weeping at the awesome power that was demonstrated. This was an awakening.

Every decision along the way started with planting the seed in my mind of that ticket on the vision board. From flying to Nashville right on through to being on stage with the man himself, the cognitive dissonance HAD to get resolved.

This is much deeper than “willpower”. Seeds don’t sprout from willpower.

To know that this is law is powerful, exhilarating and frightening at the same time. I know now that without a doubt I create my reality. Now the question is “what do I want?” because I know that without a doubt, it will all manifest exactly as I envision it.

We are all unbelievable glorious creators that do this constantly, every day, all day. Just like a dog or cat is unaware of gravity, many of us are unaware that every idea, thought and word propels us into what we call “reality”.

Don’t try this because you’ll “get what you want”. Do this and behold the delectable sweetness, magic and majesty of the Creator.

Happy 2010!

Friends, I write almost at the end of a 20 concert tour in Germany.

I walked around Cologne all day today, in the lovely grey rainy weather. My heart was rather heavy today. Why? I got dumped. Yes, a wonderfully lovely lady decided that having a guy on the road was not right for her.

After months of saying “hang in there, I’ll be back soon”, she couldn’t stand the wait. I can’t say I blame her either. Heartbreak once again.

Tommy Emmanuel himself told me “the road is where it all breaks down”.

The temptation to suppress this pain today with either having a drink, a cigarette or to eat myself blind coarsed through my veins. Yet somehow, I just wanted to be as intelligent and semi-enlightened today as possible. I know from my Sedona Method / Release technique that a healthy thing to do is actually welcome the emotion – which allows a release to happen easily.

As I walked around the Cologne Dome I contemplated people who are REALLY suffering to start and get perspective. A good friend’s daughter was recently murdered and I cannot begin to imagine his pain. My own mom is aging and in physical discomfort. One of my best friends has no family left, and very much needs his friends. There are people suffering daily, feeling worse than me, maybe due to a political or economic situation….I think I will live through my small discomfort.

Upon arriving home, I googled the term “life is suffering” and stumbled upon on an about.com page on what the Buddha called “Dukkha”. It was interesting to see that it is not really “suffering” as much as it is a certain type of phenomena and idea about the scope of pleasure and suffering, without so much of a negative or positive label. That’s my dummy explanation. Read for yourself:

Article on Dukkha

One type of Dukkha is impermanence. I have seen it myself…how success wanes and fades, people pets and places come and go – anything we think is a “given” is sure to change. As it is not exactly suffering – and the writer of the article urges us to grasp “Dukkha” as a new word in our vocabulary.

With no claim to anything scholarly here (I am just a dummy looking for a little inner peace) I simply watch the fading in and out of events and people in my life. The newness of creative bursts come and go, gigs come and go, friends move out of town, parents age. Places I have called home change into other places. Cats who have been my loving companions age and die. Businesses that were my lifeblood seem less interesting. Love affairs change, grow and maybe dissolve. Whether they dissolve or not, they are in constant flux…

On the other side of the coin – there’s always more, there are new friends coming, tomorrow’s a new day, bodies heal and things change for the better too. New tunes appear, new business ideas and creativity simply “appears”. People appear in one’s life as if by magic. This is not meant as a positive pep talk – it is an observation of the principle of “it never stays the same”.

For now I’ll watch, listen breathe and try to find peace in this moment and contemplate what little I understand of Dukkha.