Adam Rafferty’s Blog – Guitar and Spirit

Greets Friends. I am writing you from the Bay Area in California. It’s about 6am Pacific time, and I have been up for some hours, already working – uploading a new vid to youtube, looking at emails, etc. Busy work, you know…

It’s just bizarre when one sees how beautifully transparent life is. As I look “back” (whatever that means) on accomplishments, relationships and life, and – as I look forward to ideas about what I’d like in the future, or what it may bring, there is this itty bitty speck called NOW.

In this NOW it’s like this transparent nothingness – like just a small crack allowing light in. It’s this small valley in between the massive past and future. But – on looking again and again, maybe these huge mountains of past and future are nothing but illusions, and all that has ever and will ever be is this weirdly eternal speck of time called NOW.

Lester Levenson calls life “the dream that never was”. I’ve not experienced a trauma lately, but I’m reflecting on relationships with people that have “returned to the invisible and silent realm”, looking back on relationships with mentors, animals who I loved and nurtured until their passing, music I have written….wondering where did it go? Or – maybe it didn’t go anywhere. It’s almost as if it never was….only my observation made it feel real.

Quantum physics shows that even the smallest particles are only “probabilities in motion” (or something like that) until and observer comes and looks, crystalizing a vision. Isn’t life the same? Constantly in motion, wiggly, never defined – until we imprint an image in our minds and observe it? Like a snapshot. Then for a brief moment – when we observe, it appears as if it all stands still and forms into some kind of NOW point.

Sometimes this transparency frightens me when I “think” that there’s nothing to hang onto. No job, parents, lovers, home will stay permanent…it’s all much more fluid than any of us sometimes want to admit. From where do these friends, lovers and circumstances come, and where do they go?

In meditation the NOW moment merges with the flow of time it’s like flying with no net…we realize this is the only moment there was, there is…and it’s all okay when we allow this transparency.

Thus…it’s not about the destination – it’s about the journey.

Once you start feeling time in a less linear way things get stranger, stranger and stranger. I feel that life has gotten more mysterious than ever, and it has gotten more precious and more lovely. It is more beautifully strange than any movie could depict.

Discovery – when Einstein discovered E=MC2 lets say, – he didn’t create it as much as he “uncovered” it. There was this principle hanging out there waiting to be discovered. Do we ever discover anything new, or do we simply uncover yet another eternal possibility – in relationships, experience and life? Isn’t it all out there and we need only “tune it in”?

Time – what is time? To the mere mortal it’s the memory of former “now moments” and the projection of “now moments” based on our ideas of former moments plus an “itty bitty right now” which slips and quickly becomes a former “now moment”. Hmm….I don’t buy it.

Outside our mind, what the heck is time? In a sense it stands still. But on the other hand, it pulsates and lives, and changes. It’s both. Our linear idea is off, eschew. It is a delicious Kaleidescope, every moment as precious as the next…always changing but from within like a pulse. What if it were one big fat right now? (hint…it is)

The only reason for all the now moments is all the little forgetfulness moments breaking up the all pervading now.

When you really love deeply, you forget about time. When you dance and a rapt in the joy of music you are not seeing a linear score…..it is a big fat joyous now moment. This is beyond the mind, don’t try to understand it…just let your heart love an animal, nature or (gulp) a person, or God…and then ask where time went and you’ll see – your mind went to a higher place where time does not exist: the realm of love.

Now when I travel, meet new people hear new music and experience fresh exciting things – it is the uncovering of what always is, what always has been….just like E=MC2….these people places and experiences have been waiting, like a TV station, to be turned on, tuned in and activated before my eyes, based on my willingness and readiness to see.

I am always finding that which I have known, people I have always known, music I have known.

It is all a “coming home” and like Merlin, I am heading into the past and looking forward to it. I am remembering the future. With every new bit of information I get I just say “of course!” When I receive a new melody to a song from the angels whispering in my ear I say “of course”. And when I meet a new friend whom I love and cherish I smile and say “of course! ….well, what took you so long?” 🙂

So “forever” is not a stairway to heaven or a line fading forward. It is and expanded, delicious “right now”. This is a but a taste of timeless eternity. Wow. Yep, right here right now.