(Warning – I use some shocking language in this post. Don’t worry I won’t use it at the dinner table or in front of your kids.)
I have story that have wanted to share with you for a while. It’s about “beating the Devil” with your guitar.
As with many life lessons, I recently had to “re-certify” that I learned this lesson.
Harlem NYC & The Preacher
In 1992-93 I played guitar steadily in Harlem NYC in the organ trio of Jimmy “Preacher” Robins.
I learned a lot on this gig. It was ugly at times, and heavenly at other times. It taught me things I could never have learned in school.
(I just saw they issued a Jimmy “Preacher” Robins compliation CD here🙂
Alchohol, the “Ignorant Oil”
Preacher would usually start off the night having a few drinks and still play and sing well. However, the evenings became a miserable experience for everyone in the band and room after his 6th shot of Johnny Walker Red.
He never expressed anger towards me, but he’d go into control freak bandleader mode, telling both the drummer and I how to play, every note, every second of every song, fuming with alcohol induced anger.
“Play quieter, turn up, you’re too slow, too fast!” And, if my eyes went away from him for even a second he’d say “Watch Me!” – I think James Brown had a similar disposition.
Constant disapproval of the situation as a whole and the need control were the norm. He’d also abuse the drummer verbally (and there were several drummers), so this added to everyone’s pain.
It’s such a pity, because when he was “on” he was great, but this made it hard.
Playing For Survival
I was paying my rent and eating with what I earned on this gig. The “art years” of college were over. Mommy was not paying for life any longer.
All my other gigs in NY for me were one shot deals, but this was 4 nights a week, steady. Few guitarists in town had a gig like this. I could not walk out.
While it may sound like no big deal to have a bad work situation, music is different. You have to constantly expose your soul when you play, so to be in “defense mode” the entire time while playing music is miserable and exhausting.
Not only was I under pressure to play well, but I had to constantly shift gears to keep his moment to moment whims satisfied.
I was 21 and playing with a beloved Harlem entertainer in his 60’s who was the big boss, and who was an out of control alcoholic.
What could I do?
“Cook On Him!”
I went to the payphone on a set break and called my mentor, Mike Longo and needed advice on how to deal with this miserable situation.
“He’s drinking the ignorant oil again, huh?” he said.
“Yep” I replied.
Mike’s advice was, “Cook on him! Go back in the ring like Muhammad Ali and kick his ass, with your guitar!”
Not only is Mike a world class musician, but he’s seen some stuff in his life 🙂 That’s what world class mentors are for.
Back in the Ring…
Well, I followed Mike’s orders. When we got back on the bandstand I played the blues harder than ever before, grooved deeper than ever, and dug as deep inside myself as I could to serve up a musical “ass whoopin.”
I had to use all my strength and positive energy to strong-arm the situation and give Preacher and the drummer no way out.
This was not a sensitive musical give and take. It was war. I was determined to make that entire club pump with soul, whether he was with me or not.
Victory of the Spirit
Much to my astonishment, the harder I played, the more the Preacher started grinning and grooving, and between songs he finally screamed “We overcame the Devil!”
On the set break he was hugging me, and the club patrons were happy. The “joint was happenin” and all was well.
He of course had no idea how this happened, and what hell I had to go through to “pull us” into a positive realm..
This was an incredible lesson on the power of music and mind. Here’s what I learned:
Forget the details, as changing those won’t solve the core issue. Put your focus on the heart, soul, and flow. Problems dissolve from entering a different paradigm altogether.
Still Applying the Lesson Today
The “Devil” still hangs out looking for it’s opportunities to do it’s dirty work. It lures me in from time to time, and I occasionally have to pass some “re-certification exams.”
It’s the self doubting mind that starts churning when I have too much time to think, (usually when I am off tour.)
The Devil is inside us, not outside…and he loves to
- pose questions that are unanswerable
- lure me into comparing myself to others
- stir up feelings of “being less than so-and-so”
- make me discouraged at what I can’t do
- does not want me to acknowledge the blessings I have received
- wants me to regret things I should have, could have done
All of which leave me feeling dis-empowered, separated, and un-groovy.
Whether it’s you, me or someone else – this is exactly what the Devil ego mind wants – for us to feel a feeling of “poor little me”, to be an un-empowered victim.
“He’s not happy until we’re unhappy.”
Another Test, Another Victory
Recently I got into in a tailspin of working on right hand position and bass tone. A few nights ago, I hit a peak of it being unsolvable, no matter what I did.
Nothing seemed right, and I was like the Preacher, in my own mind…I saw fault everywhere, in all I did. Poor little me 🙂
It was a feeling of unsolvable hopeless. Was I crazy? (umm…don’t answer that please…)
I took a practice break. How could I solve this?
My memory called up the night I and Preacher “overcame the Devil.”
Ascending Back into Musical Heaven
With a decision to groove and chase the demons away, I played with as much soul as I could. I told the problems “Your time is up!” and dropped it all.
The decision to abandon negative thoughts is like willfully leaving a mess in the kitchen, putting on some music and saying “the hell with it, I’m dancing in the living room!!!”
But…as you dance, imagine the kitchen magically vanishes, like a mirage that was always non existent. The problem was never there, it was only in the mind.
With the decision once again to “cook” on guitar and to kick ass, just recently, I was back on the magic carpet of groove.
All was well again. All it took was that decision.
Once again, I beat the Devil.
The Takeaway
At the beginning learning stages, of course you must use a cognitive approach. But, there may come a time when you have to abandon the mind, giving up, and going for “flow” or “feel.”
By going deep into a flow and forgetting detail oriented solutions, sometimes the “unresolvable” gets resolved in a fresh and unexpected way.
Techniques, tones, melodies and ideas reveal themselves. Just leave the mess in the kitchen and go dance.
It’s not that things “change” and it’s not that finally something “out there happens.”
A new perception happens from within you, and from that – your world changes.
Please comment below if you enjoyed this post!
Netti says
great words Adam. i am inspired by your words and how you overcame the Devil.
i face similar situations in life. i would just dance in the groove .
Thanks again.
Greg says
Preacher was a grade-A asshole. But that motherfucker could play a blues. Great insight life lesson brother Adam. Keep doing *your* thing and I’ll be a fan for life.
(Note: recaptcha works weird on mobile)
John Morgan says
Wisdom! Adam thanks for your posts!
Colin MacPhail says
So resonant and true.
I believe that if you are truly making music, you can NOT be thinking about anything else.
Great post Adam.
Cheers, Colin
Jeff barr says
Great advice Adam!
Sometimes I can get a paralysis of analysis, but then your advice to just play from the heart with feeling ,always makes a great change in my playing!
Sem van Blerk says
great post! And had the same kind of experiences. So i feel what you’re talking about. And how just must have felt those days…..
Talk to you soon!
Grtz
Sem
adamrafferty says
Thanks Sem, glad to hear from you! AR
gill says
I found you on YouTube yesterday. Never heard such skill, virtuosity and as you say, soul. You are a Master. Thanks so much. Gill
jean bedard says
i have been struggling with negative thoughts about my playing lately Adam and reading this post was very comforting.
brett strachan says
great post Adam; give me feel and groove over flash/speed any day
Richard Agostini says
YES! This is great advice for anyone in the battle with the Devil, Satan, Lucifer, etc. in Life . Thanks Adam applying this to music easy the mind and lifts the spirit and in a band it puts, and pulls everyone to the place, (spiritually) where music speaks its best.
Augie
Whiteboy Slim says
Probably the best advice on playing I ‘ve every seen . I’ve been fighting that particular Devil for the four decades I ‘ve been playing guitar on stage, and I think I’ll have this article tattooed somewhere (or maybe just save it on my iPhone!)
Pat says
My failure to stop thinking about how not to get the wrong note needs to be replaced with hearing the note and trusting that it will come out of the fingers, at the right time. Knowing that? Simple. I’ve known it from the beginning. Doing it? Oh, so ephemeral. But there’s no “there” there. It’s all journey, not destination. And so I play on.
Eric Cain says
Yeah man. Chasin that old devil by groovin in the now and kickin’ his ass is so much more fun, and a whole lot more rewarding. I loved this article (and the youtube videos). Thanks for the reminder. Keep on pickin’
Roland says
Truly inspirational indeed! Thank you, Adam!
Duane King says
Your insights come from years of experience, education and training which makes them invaluable to me.
Thank you very much.
Bianca says
Hey Adam! Thanks a lot for sharing this. I’m in the process of recording a live Guitar and Vocals EP, and that’s exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much, I so admire the heart, soul and honesty you put in all stuff that you do. Keep grooving <3
Bill Slorp says
Adam. Obviously you’re a great musician, but it’s also pretty easy to tell that you are genuinely a good person.
With each email from your site, comes the feelings inside of me, to write to you, but then “the devil” says “don’t “, he won’t give a s*** about your whiny assed problems”.
I’m 72 now, started playing guitar/ fingerstyle just 5 years ago. I live near Columbus Ohio, so I tried sitting in with Palmer Moore and gang a few times. As one who is VERY “thin skinned” Palmer’s intimidation and public scoldings about my “playing too loud” when playing rythum, ( twice in front of 30 people) was enough to yank the carpet out from under me. I stopped going 3 years ago,
My guitar playing/love, is now reduced to sitting in my spare room, with Youtube videos being my incentive.
Every item in your list of 6 things is an exact feeling I have every time I pick up my Maton. All this I guess, is just to say “you nailed it”. I face the “devil” in every note I play. No other groups to sit in with, around here.
So, that’s not an option. Thank you so much for what makes you the guy you are. ( if that makes since)
bill slorp
Dave White says
What a great post – thanks much!
Flexi says
Thanks Adam for this good mind set.
For future gigs it will help a lot to me.
Beating the inherent devil!
Thanks keep on groovin’
Robert says
Outstanding Adam,Thanks for all you do.
David Pike says
Hey Adam,
I haven’t yet accomplished anything in music, but then, I’ve just started. I will achieve, because I’m at home in my soul. I’ve been given the grace to let go of the competitiveness and negativity, to accept myself as I am, and to accept everyone else equally. It’s actually just that easy.
Just accept who you are and respect EVERYone you meet, and especially everyone you don’t notice because you’re busy being busy. Remember that every person on this planet, including all the ones you don’t think are worth your time, knows something that you don’t, and finding that truth will make you a better person, husband, musician …. Show respect for every person, if only because it’s in your best interest. When you respect everyone, everyone will respect you. Your self-respect will soar and your art will soar with it. Let it happen in its own time.
Remember that you ARE one of the best fingerstyle guitarists in the world. You are working to get better every day, and you WILL be even better in the years to come. You don’t need to convince anyone how good you are, it is self-evident. Don’t waste time and energy trying to convince someone that you are worth a concert tour or a recording contract. You ARE worth those things and they WILL come to you, when you least expect them. Be ready. In the meantime (which is actually all of the time), make yourself worthy of their trust and friendship.
When ego starts to rise, laugh at it. Because it honestly doesn’t matter to a single soul in this world and it’s pretty ridiculous to think that it matters or anyone cares. That’s where the Devil is, so just don’t go there. Let the Devil starve from inattention. Learn something new on guitar, just because everything you learn has value. Go out on the street and meet a couple of people at random and find out their life story. It’s utterly irrelevant if they care about your story. Discover a new person, new experience or a new truth. When you’re open to anyone or any possibility, you ARE better and more worthy. Enjoy the journey, and leave the world better than you found it. Whether you can master a particular song, technique or groove is unimportant. Don’t let it matter, and it will come to you on its own.
The Devil only has the power you give him. Ignore him and he will never exist for you. Just let go and use your God-given talents, your knowledge and your skill to Play Pretty for the People.
David
Juan says
😈🎸🎶
Konstantin says
Thanks for this post, Adam! It seems to me that my battles with the devil began when I had musical ambitions and have been going on for many years. Among other things, in the modern world (with the Internet), it seduces you with a huge variety of music and educational materials – this does not allow you to concentrate on anything. And from time to time he whispers: “Why do you need all this?”, Thereby plunging into depression and urging to quit music.
Dave Kuykendall says
Worked with many band leaders like this and it’s an awful feeling! Makes you really think and when you think your playing great and listening to all instruments and feeling a great groove then you hear something negative on the stage directed at you ! This has happened with several band leaders , I understand creative criticism but that’s unacceptable! I’m so done with people like this
Adam Rafferty says
Good choice! Life’s too short :-).
Oops sorry for the duplicate comment below!
Adam Rafferty says
Good choice! Life is definitely too short for people like that!
Lawrence Minier says
Great lesson Adam, we all need to hear stories like that to help us in our quest for music and life as well . Thanks for sharing.
Evelyn Carrigan says
Great story. I felt like I was in Harlem with you, groovin. Excellent advice. I recently got so fed up with some new jazz chords I’m learning and just went for it and plopped my fingers down where I thought they might go – and I ended up playing though the whole song and having FUN.