Hi friends. What I am about to write is rather diary like. Hope you don’t mind. It’s also a THANK YOU note.
Ok, to all of you who have kids, and a house and 2 cars and many responsibilities, my life probably looks like a walk in the park. Hey, I have been careful to try to carve out time and space for the “creation” of my life – which is playing music. I’ve also made (and make) emotional sacrifices so that life circumstances don’t eclipse the music.
I have a lovely lady in my life, 3 cats between us, and I am a musical entrepreneur at heart. I am blessed.
Yet I still have my ghosts, demons, responsibilities, doubts. However, action is about to change all of that, or at least kick it’s butt. In fact the action has started – as thought.
I digress – It’s funny – practicing music is like not wanting to drink at a party. It seems everyone pressures you contrary to your needs and desires (unless of course I am simply creating my reality). “C’mon, have a drink” is like “do you have free time, aw you always practice…” Next thing you know – days slip by and others are getting their needs met…just not me. Well guess what, I am saying YES to my needs and it may sound like a NO to them now, but too bad.
The compulsion to fill every moment with something, some activity- particularly if it makes money – does not allow for 2 seconds of spaciousness – the quiet out of which music springs forth. Again, I take 100% responsibility for what’s happened these past few months, and I am responsible for a new direction.
Right now my “music” is many things – communication with people, practice, composition, booking gigs, reaching out and learning from those further ahead than I, and most of all – working on myself as a person. I have been doing the personal development work prescribed by many of todays success teachers and gurus (who are actually very hip).
The upshot?
No more fall back plans allowed. I am jumping off the cliff and will find wings on the way down (Ray Bradbury’s quote).
Music for me is a FULL TIME gig. All the “fall back plans” (steady little time consuming gigs of various sorts) are eating up 4-5 days a week, leaving spaciousness for 2 or 3. So what was once good to help pay bills and “help become” a working musician has now become a ceiling and a hindrance.
Without going into details, I will say this: the train is leaving the station, so to speak. I am on my way to the next level – not externally, but internally. My commitment to music and this life is in a deeper place than ever before.
And who is the thank you for? You!!! Family, friends, fans. Particularly my YOUTUBE fans.
It’s amazing – without audience feedback, I guess much of this music and new acoustic direction would evaporate like a small puddle on a summer day…but the response has been so AWESOME that any last shred of self doubt has turned into a resounding “I can do it!”. All I need now is patience!
Addition: In younger years I had many “great ideas” and thought – “yeah, I could do such and such if I wanted”. Now I see – it’s the action that counts!!!! Anyone can say “I could do it if I wanted”. I ask – “well, what are you doing?”
I know in my bones that this is what the Buddha meant (sort of…err, I hope) with the concept of Right Livelihood. A calling, a passion that benefits the giver and the receiver.
Hmm…I think someone wise once said “get good enough out of the way to make room for great” 
Stay tuned…more music is on the way!
Love
Adam
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